Living in Dracula's Dungeon

Another advantage of Jason staying at home is that he was able to take over the Halloween decorating this year.

He did a great job. Imani told me numerous times that she thought he was a "really, really good decorator."

He definitely goes a little more for the gory in his decorating than I usually do and he sure knows how to spook up a house.   Imagine eating dinner with this on your cake plate.

We still had some of the whimsical decorations out too - like my favorite little tree with these fun characters we bought at Pier1 Imports last year.

Unfortunately I didn't get any pictures at night, but he changed out nearly EVERY light bulb in our house with an orange, red or black bulb.  It is pretty creepy. I've felt like I live in a dungeon.


We still had the mice up the stairs, like last year.  This is one of my favorite decorations and Jason traced and cut each and every one.  I think we found the template on Marthastewart.com  If you're feeling like splurging, you can buy them at Michael's too, but they will cost you far more than if you take the time to make them yourself.

Every day, I would come home and more of my house had been spun into a web.

See those creepy guys peering out from behind my curtains?  I almost freaked one night when I first noticed them.

Everywhere you turn, there is a monster peeking out from a corner.  I'm surprised Imani doesn't have nightmares.

This year, our mantel remained decorated as it has been, except Jason spun it up in his web and added some gourds and a tombstone that we bought at Rite Aid (our favorite store).  There are eerie lights that run behind the window to spook up the mantel at night.

Of course we put out our frames with spooky text too. 

I think Jason was extra inspired because he just finished reading Dracula. This, coupled with my love of the Twilight series, dictated our costumes this year.

We really get into Halloween every year. If you missed my post highlighting all of our costumes over the years, you can check it out here.

Nope, no fuzzy bear costume for Noah. He was a little vampire too.

Even Maggie has a costume and I must say, it's quite appropriate.

Happy Halloween, from our dungeon to yours!

Living the Dream

So much has happened in the past few months since I last blogged.  Last summer, when I took a hiatus from writing, I came back announcing I was pregnant.

Well, this year . . . I'm not pregnant.

And I'm still fully employed. 

In fact, not only did I return to my full time job, but I also signed up as a stylist for Stella & Dot. I'm having so much fun selling this fabulous line of jewelry and handbags.  You can check out my online store at http://www.stelladot.com/stephatkins

Before you think I'm a complete slacker, I did guest blog for Grace at Sense and Simplicity once. You can read it here (there's even a video of Noah).

But why haven't I blogged regularly? For one, I've been stressed out and busy! For two, every moment I'm not working or having a trunk show for Stella & Dot, I'm spending time with my children.

But recently, a decision in our family has put my mind at ease and allowed for less stress.

Jason and I have decided that Jason would become a stay at home dad.

Yes, you read that right - Jason left his office job at Cornell, where he worked for 12 years, to stay home full time with Noah and Imani.

I couldn't be more thrilled.

Before you think I'm making gobs of money in my full time sales job, let me just tell you that this decision will force us to follow a budget -- something we started doing with this year's New Year's Resolution, but something we had the luxury of breaking when we really wanted to make a big purchase.

It's requiring some sacrifices like selling Jason's shiny, big pick up truck and cutting back on Direct TV.

When we've told people of our decision, we've received a variety of reactions. Some guys have told Jason that they're jealous -- that they'd love to stay home and have their wives provide financially for their families.  Others have questioned our decision and Jason's manhood.

Even some women who I've told have said it's "crazy" and they couldn't imagine their husbands staying at home.  When we've explained that the cost of daycare for two children makes Jason's take home pay seem meager, it doesn't matter.  For some, working for a paycheck -- no matter how small -- defines you.

These reactions always trouble me.  I can't believe we, as a society, value money more than we value our children.  What job is more important than raising a good, kind, healthy human being? 

And what have we been smoking to believe it's healthier to send our kids off to daycare to be raised by a stranger so we can make a small salary just to say that we work?

Don't get me wrong. I completely understand the need for daycare for many families. I've been there. As a single mom with Imani, I didn't have a choice but to send her to daycare while I worked.  And I understand that for some families, both parents must work to make ends meet.

 I get it.

But I have been utterly shocked by the response in saying my husband is staying home. I know if it had been I who had chosen to stay home, the response from many would have been different. 

To be honest, when I was pregnant and the topic of Jason staying home came up, I was adamantly opposed. "'It would be terrible for our marriage" I'd tell people flatly.  I thought I'd be jealous.

But when Jason took his four week's of paternity leave, I left the house each day happy, confident and focused on my work. I didn't worry about Imani and Noah because I knew they were in loving hands.  When I came home each day, the kids were happy -- Imani had adventures to tell me about and Noah's smile told my heart his day was good.

What's more . . . my house was spotless (have I mentioned Jason has OCD?), the laundry was done and each day I would walk in to the aroma of dinner on the table.

All I had to focus on was spending time with my children.

Did you know that there were roughly 158,000 stay at home dads in the US in 2010 compared to 5.3 million stay at home moms?  The trend for stay at home dads is growing though.  Fortune Magazine reported that over a third of its “50 Most Powerful Women in Business” had a stay-at-home spouse.

I'm blessed to have a husband who is man enough not to measure his worth by his paycheck and who is confident enough to break societal norms to do what we feel is right for our family. 

I'm also blessed to have a job that pays well that I actually enjoy (most of the time) .

Jason has mentioned his desire to contribute financially in some way.  I've suggested he start his own blog on being a stay at home dad but he didn't seem interested.

I've urged him to become a regular writer for Decorating Addiction, but still no response there.

He might pursue artwork (since that's what he went to school for), but he's not sure.

He could always flip houses, or help others with their renovations.

But for now, I'm happy with him just playing 500 Rummy with Imani and changing Noah's diapers.

And don't forget - the man can practically make up his salary in his weekly coupon savings. 

My next blog post might be about how we built an addition on our house out of boxes of toothpaste.

Did you think the couponing had slowed because a baby was born? 

Think again . . . he's only gotten better at his skill!  Yes, this sexy man still holds the title of the Coupon Cowboy.  How lucky am I?

So yeah, we're living the dream -- but this dream isn't about how much money we're making.

We're sacrificing a pick up truck in exchange for not missing out on Noah's first steps.

I might not be able to buy a new pair of heels in two different colors so that Imani can ride the bus home and complete homework in her own house with a dad who cares rather than at an after school program with 50 other kids.  She gets to spend time with her baby brother too.

I have a feeling none of us will ever regret it.

Innocent Determination

There have been so many times when I've questioned my ability as a mother. 

These are the times when I wait until Imani goes to bed and I call my own mom and cry, wishing I could quit this job called motherhood.

And then there are times when I know I've done something right and I wouldn't trade this job for anything else in the world.

My sister's friend Dre is a person who Imani has always really liked.  What's not to like -- she's fun and energetic and a genuinely good person.  She's spent a few holidays with my family, since she's from the West Coast and couldn't always make it home for holidays.  I remember one time Dre came to visit us for Halloween. I was throwing a Halloween party for Imani and Dre dressed as a witch and played games with all of the kids.   She was a big hit.

Imani was sad when Dre moved back to the West Coast several years ago.  But thanks to social networking like Facebook, we can see how Dre is doing. 

Imani was extremely shocked and upset when she read on Facebook that Dre's brother, Matt, was diagnosed with cancer.  She saw that Dre had set up an online drive to raise money to help Matt B. with his expenses. 

She saw that we donated for the cause.

She saw that my sister donated for the cause.

She said nothing.

But instead of using her online time to play "Club Penguin," she began using her online time to check the Matt B vs Cancer website to see if he had reached his goal.  Matt B. needed to raise $83,000 to cover his medical expenses, and although the donations were coming in, Imani was noticing that the donation bar was still far from reaching the goal at the top.

She started mentioning Matt B. almost daily, despite the fact that she'd never met him.  She read his online biography and discovered that he was blind at 22 months old yet still went on to be a music major in college and play the guitar.

Image: Mattbvscancer.com

Imani wanted to help Matt B reach his goal.  She tried to put together a fundraising effort for her school where each grade would bring in change and compete to fill up a jar.  Whichever grade raised the most money would win a pizza party.

But her principal wouldn't let her hold the fundraiser because no one knew Matt and it wasn't relevant for the whole school.

So Imani went back to the drawing board.  Several of her friends gave her money and she made a jar in her room where she put their donations.  She started putting her own money in the jar too.

Meanwhile, Jason and I were busy preparing for Noah's arrival and we thought maybe Imani's determination would pass.  After all, we had already given a donation and Imani didn't really know Matt B. personally.  It's not that we didn't want to help. We just didn't realize she was all that serious.

But our 10 year old had something to teach us -- that being passionate about helping someone doesn't stop at one donation.  It doesn't stop when someone tells you you cannot conduct a fundraiser in their school.  And it doesn't stop when your parents are preoccupied with a pregnancy.

Imani called Aunt D to find out what she could do to raise money for Matt B.  Aunt D sent a myriad of ideas, most of which involved dance parties, pool parties, or other large groups of kids at my house -- to which I said:

 "Bad Idea."

"Bad idea."

Hmmmmm  . . . . "Bad idea."

But one idea struck Imani and was acceptable to both of her parents:  a benefit concert.

So while Jason and I were busy picking out baby names and putting together a nursery, Imani continued to save her pennies in a jar in her bedroom for Matt B. 

But she also started planning a concert.  She put together a list of songs she'd play on the violin and she asked her violin teacher if she would accompany her on the piano. 

She started creating a program for the concert even though she didn't have a venue at which to play.

Months passed.  The jar continued to get heavier with change.

My belly continued to grow.

On the other side of the country Matt B. continued treatments for cancer.

Image: Mattbvscancer.com

And the donation bar on Matt B's fundraising website still looked far away from $83,000.

Imani started asking me questions -- serious questions, like what happened to Matt B if he didn't get the money he needed?  Was there any other way she could help him?

I saw her passion and dedication and I knew I had to help her wrap up those final details so that the concert could take place.

I reached out to our church to see if they would allow us to use the sanctuary for the benefit concert.

They generously waived the $700 space rental fee.

I helped Imani finalize the program and we called a local newspaper to get an ad placed to announce the concert.  I was shocked when, instead of an ad, the newspaper decided to do a story on the concert.  It made the front page! You can read about it here.

We sent out emails to the PTA list serv, Imani's violin school list serv, and we created an "event" on Facebook.

Imani asked a couple of her friends to play songs on piano for the concert too.  One little girl agreed and this Saturday, she will join Imani in her concert titled "Healing Through Music" in an effort to raise money for someone they have never met.

  Imani has been practicing every day; she's playing more than a dozen songs at the event.

Image: IthacaJournal.com

I know she doesn't feel like practicing every day, especially when the weather is hot and there is a pool in her backyard.

I watch her with the violin held high;

I look at the signs she created by hand that aren't as neat as I'd like but were created with great thought and detail nonetheless

 

and I look at that jar in her bedroom filling up with change

and I know that as a mom, I've done something right.

For more information on Matt B. or to make a donation, visit http://www.mattbvscancer.com/ and click on the PayPal button.

Learning to Plant

We've been busy here trying to get our landscaping under control.  In the past few years of fixing up this little Cape, we haven't even begun to address the yard until this year (unless you count putting mulch around trees).

Part of the problem is that neither Jason nor I really know what we're doing.  A couple of years ago we went out and bought a whole bunch of shrubs and plants in an effort to give our home a little more curb appeal.

Imagine our horror when we woke up and found nearly all of the plants had been eaten by the deer that roam our neighborhood.



We did learn that deer don't like peonies.

Or Irises

So this year, now that we have our pool fenced in, we figured we could plant some things that aren't deer resistant with the hope that the deer won't jump our small fence.

We enlisted the help of our friend Kelby, who once worked for his father's landscaping company.  Maybe you remember Kelby . . . he's the guy who knows how to do EVERYTHING and has helped teach Jason every step of the way in our remodeling our home. 

We owe him our next child.

Seriously.

Kelby helped us pick out plants and then showed us where we should plant them.  That, to me, is the hardest part of landscaping.  I know what plants I like but then when we plant them, they don't look right.  They look like a bunch of random plants stuck in the ground in no particular order.  I've discovered there is a real art to where and how to arrange plants. 

And we're still not good at it, so anyone with any advice . . . let us have it!

Anyway, Jason's been busy trying to get all of the plants in the ground around the pool and then filling the area with stone. I can't wait to show you all the work when it's finished.

In this quest for landscaping around our pool, we came up short on plants, even though we spent a small fortune . . . as in $1000 on plants . . .

So I did what any logical woman would do . . . I started asking friends for plants and I posted an ad on Freecycle.  (Do you have a freecycle.org where you live?  It's an AMAZING service!)

I've discovered that gardeners are some of the most generous people I've ever come across. I've been amazed by all of the plants people are willing to divide up and donate to our yard.

And although I'm getting a hodgepodge of plants and I have no idea how to arrange any of them, I like knowing that they came from someone else's hands, someone who cared enough to share them with us. They are an extension of strangers and friends whose soil nourished them from seedlings.

And now we will  plant them in our yard for the next journey of their lives and (hopefully) watch them thrive so that we can one day divide them and give life to other barren yards.

I'm still figuring out what must be planted within the fenced area of the pool, and what will be safe outside of the fence where the deer roam freely.

Other than landscaping, Jason is still busy clipping coupons.  For those of you who thought the baby would slow him down, you were incredibly wrong.    I received a text today from Jason that said,
"I figured out the Rite Aid deal and we can get all that stuff for -$3.51!"


Nope, Baby Noah hasn't slowed the Coupon Cowboy down not one little bit.  Can you say name brand diapers for next to nothing?

I have been busy trying to get back into shape and I'm happy to say that my battle with the treadmill has been paying off.  I fit into my skinny jeans again!  Enough said.

Imani has been busy planning a benefit concert for a dear friend's brother who was diagnosed with cancer.  Although Imani's never met our friend's brother (they live on the West Coast), his battle with cancer has touched Imani's young heart so she has been busily preparing flyers, a program and working out other details for her violin concert this Saturday.  I'll post more about that later.

And Noah?  He's busy doing what babies do:  soaking up all that is around him and winning everyone over with his precious smile. 

Out with the Mold

Remember when Jason smelled mold in our bedroom and he ripped apart the entire wall to address the problem only a month before I was due to have Noah?  If you missed it, you can read about it here.  For a short time, my bedroom looked like this:

and I was just praying that Noah wouldn't decide to arrive early and this would be his welcome to our home.

Thankfully, he was late like his parents.

Instead of just replacing the insulation, fixing the window and re-sheetrocking the wall, we figured it would be a nice time to change things up a bit. 

Yes, we tend to take on big projects during monumental events in our lives.

Like the time we gutted our entire kitchen only weeks before our wedding.  In fact, I was so sick of doing dishes in the bathroom and cooking outside on the grill that our honeymoon was more than just a honeymoon . . . it was an escape from the chaos of my kitchen.  While we were away, our countertops were installed so that when we returned, Jason could finish up the kitchen.

What can I say?   We love stress.

Anyway . . . back to the story at hand.

I had  been wanting to give our bedroom more of a cottage feel, since it is such a small space.    I really love the horizontal plank walls that I've seen in Pottery Barn, Country Living and over at The Lettered Cottage.

The good news is that I didn't have to sell Jason on the idea. He actually welcomed it, since he hates to tape and spackle sheet rock.

Perhaps you remember our bedroom originally looked like this.

And then we got rid of the king sized bed and I had Jason cut our dresser so that it could be moved to make room for the bassinet.  If you missed that crazy adventure, you can read about it here.

That brought our bedroom to this.



We moved the jewelry armoire and mirror to make room for the beautiful PB bassinet that was a gift from my mother in law and her boyfriend.  Remember the sketch she did of the bassinet because it wasn't going to arrive in time for my shower?  You know, the one that hangs in Noah's room as a piece of art on the wall?

Well the bassinet arrived in time for Noah and it looks great in the space we created.  .

Did you notice the switches up on the wall?  Well, I've always wanted lights on either side of the bed for reading.  I'm not a Kindle kind of girl . . . I like good ol' fashioned pages to turn, which means I need a light so that I can read at night.  And I'm not much into little book lights. They fall off my book, run out of batteries and generally aggravate me.

So my husband who spoils me installed two lights - one on either side of the bed and each light has its own switch.  Once Noah was born, Jason took the lights one step further and installed a dimmer switch so that we could get up to tend to Noah in the middle of the night without flipping on a bright light.

It all came together really nicely and I'm growing to really love my slanted ceilings and small bedroom. I never thought I would, but it's become my little cozy haven.

We both hated the color of the walls so we figured that while we were installing the plank wall, we might as well update the color too.  We used white on the planked wall and went with Sherwin William's "Blue Hubbard" for the side walls (a color I'll admit I snagged from The Lettered Cottage's design).

We I still have a few things we'd I'd like to do in this room. As you know from reading my blog, I hate the color of the dressers and night stand. I'd like to try to refinish them in a lighter color. Originally, I wanted to paint them white, but now I'm hoping to go with a distressed gray like much of the furniture in Restoration Hardware.

I also want to get a new light fixture.  I'd love a chandelier, but our ceilings are so low, I don't think it would look right.  I've been looking around but haven't found anything that speaks to me yet.  Any suggestions?

Finally, I want to get rid of the towering fan on the night stand and update it with a smaller, silver more industrial looking fan.  Getting rid of the fan is not an option, as you might remember from my post Finding Sleep with a Fan.   While the current fan we have is a huge upgrade from the old boxed fan we used to  use, it looks Victorian, and just doesn't go with the room anymore.

I also want to ditch the old-school electric alarm clock.  You know how much I hate the look of electronics so I want to hide our alarm clock somehow.  I thought of using a classic looking alarm clock (you know the ones that have a little device that hits two bells at the top?)  but Jason says he doesn't want to wake up to such a loud alarm in the morning.  I've also considered just using our cell phones as alarm clocks, but J likes to see the time in the middle of the night so maybe a cell phone docking station would work? 

I'm still figuring it out.

So there you have it . . . our lighter, brighter and mold-free bedroom.

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